I am amazed that Jesus found favor in me again. You might think Jesus finds favor in everyone.
You’re right, but not everyone is the worst sinner on earth like I am. Jesus showed me this about myself. At first, I didn’t want to believe it or understand why, but now I do.
I’m so grateful that Jesus found favor in me. He didn’t have to accept me the way he might accept someone else. For everyone else, it seems like Jesus finds favor in them because of who they are and how they live.
My relationship with Jesus feels unusual now. I wish it were different, but I’ve learned to accept it. Years ago, Jesus sent the Holy Spirit to live in me. I even asked him to take the Holy Spirit away because I didn’t think I could handle the beautiful feeling I had when the Holy Spirit was with me.
In July 2020, after many years of sinning, Jesus came to me again. There was no big announcement or a sign saying, “welcome back home, son.” This time, Jesus was strict with me. I didn’t realize how much damage I had caused.
I used to think that if I asked Jesus to forgive my sins, he would forgive me and that would be it. But recently, Jesus showed me that when he forgives someone, they might not have to face spiritual death, but it’s not guaranteed.
If a police officer gives you a ticket for a traffic violation, there are legal ways to remove it from your record. Still, you have to pay the fine, even if the violation is erased from your record.
I want you to know that no matter what sins you’ve committed, they can’t be worse than mine. If Jesus can help someone like me, just think what he can do for someone like you.
When you feel like the worst sinner, you don’t expect Jesus to help you. I was too afraid to ask for help, so I struggled on, carrying all my sins. I always thought he would help people like you, but I felt nothing like you.
If you knew my past, you might wonder why Jesus would ever help someone like me. That’s exactly why I say Jesus found favor in me again. I understand if you feel that way, because there are many good people who deserve his help more than I ever could.
I’m not proud of my past, but now I am truly happy that Jesus has shown me favor. Not long ago, I didn’t want anything to do with Jesus or anything holy. Now, you couldn’t pull me away from him. He lets me sit and soak up his love, knowing I never want to leave again. I invite you to join me.